I'm not what one would describe as a touchy-feely kind of person.
I am not cold or distant by any means and I am definitely more of a hugger than a hand-shaker. You better believe that I come in for the real thing if I've known you for longer than a minute and you don't have unbearable B.O. However, I blame this more on my southern charm rather than my personal preferences.
When Joe and I first started having, ahem, adult sleep overs, it was very quickly established that there would be no touching during sleeping hours. Before and after, it is likely that we can... you know... "cuddle" but if I'm unconscious, ere on the side of caution and, please, not touch me. Luckily, I married someone who is the same way which is likely why we work. Occasionally, I've been known to give a mean elbow to the ribs while remaining completely comatose when his feet manage to forget the agreed-upon boundaries. (Sorry, Joe.)
Naturally, I worried that this lack of needing physical connection would hinder me as a mom. I needn't worry because Mo, in true fashion, wasn't a cuddler. I actually worried something was wrong with her as a baby because she was all, "Bitch, give me three feet" instead of wanting to be as close to me as possible. She hated co-sleeping and slept like a star fish. We were the perfect mother-child duo in terms of not wanting to constantly be touched.
Which brings me to Edie.
That child lives for an opportunity to get her some snugs. Randomly throughout the day, she'll crab-crawl her way over to me only to plop her head in my lap for a few moments, like she just wants to check in and make sure that my lap is still there and operational. The nook between my chin and shoulder is likely permanently molded to her sweet head of raven curls. She still prefers to drink a bottle laying down in my lap on the floor so she can stare up at me. She is so sweet that she even still makes sure to wake up around three a.m. EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT. to guarantee the fulfillment of her daily cuddle quota.
And I...... love it?! Nothing is more soothing to me than the weight of her head on my shoulder after a warm bath. The fact that she almost always ruins the moment by peeing on me right afterwards doesn't even phase me.
But that's just Edie being everything I never knew I needed or wanted, by forcing me to slow down, by reminding me that babies don't keep and everything else can wait, by loving me so obviously and with so much affection.
This gig, man.... I often wonder who I'd be without it. I'd surely be a lot less loved.
*Joe's feet will never be welcomed on my side of the bed, though. Just sayin'...